Dear George,
How's the weather over there? I ask only because it's just fabulous here in London. Today it reached 30*C, maybe this is why my train was 3mins late? The weather, however, didn't stop the price of a first class stamp being 46p.
Little has happened to me since i wrote to you last. A lovely friend of mine was over in England and has since flown back to the USA. I'm now the proud owner of a 'Where's Waldo' book and a shit ton of lovely sugar enriched American candy. I took a box of 'sour skittles' to the cinema the other night and after devouring the whole box nothing tasted right for 3 days!
If you can cast your mind back a couple of weeks ago, you may remember i posted up a few letters from people wanting advice on the best way to keep eels as pets. The reaction to these letter has been huge and horrifying. I'll whack up one example typical of the thousands of letters received.
"Dear Sir,
I am Literally shocked, nay horrified, nay literally shocked, to discover that in this so-called enlightened 21st century civilised society we live in, the practise of eel-keeping is still alive and wriggling
It has been proven by Chinese scientists that, as far as intelligence goes, eels rank just below dolphins, just above former Welsh international and Liverpool FC centre forward Ian Rush. And yet these intelligent creatures are literally trapped and bought and sold in the market place as though they were cattle! This traffic is, of course, literally illegal.
An eel kept in a cage suffers severe stress and trauma. Caged eels refuse to eat or sleep, they cease cleaning their beaks or feathers - eventually the feathers literally fall out - they do not sing or nest or breed. Furthermore... Eagles! sorry, i meant eagles, not eels. I take it all back. I'm sorry.
Literally,
Ian Peterson"
Take care buddy,
yours,
Little Dave
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