Back to basics

Dear George,

It has kindly been brought to my attention that while i strive to keep you abreast of current affairs i'm neglecting to keep you up to date with the more simpler things in life.  International news you can of course find anywhere, but are you aware that a fat squirrel has been digging up my garden and eating the seeds from my vegetable patch! As you know i do try to paint the world in bright colours but as you can clearly see small furry mammals are me causing chaos.

I'll begin with a quick editorial.  I received an email from a bloke in Ireland asking me who the bearded man was in the photo next to the panda.  The smug faced, hairy, man-boy in question is Kev.  A mate of ours and has been for...well...forever i think, and he looks like a bear.  I know you know this George but since other people are reading my intimate correspondance to you, i'll have to stick a bit more detail in when making private jokes.... this will enevitably make every joke twice as long and half as funny.

Today is Wednesday the 1st of June.  My train way late, again...(for any international readers, this is the general rule with trains in England).  It is 16*C outside and partly cloudy over here in London.  Britain's still using sterling (£) and on average, a loaf of bread cost £1.37. The current price of a first class stamp is 46p...which is un-fucking-believable! Is it any wonder we send emails???

The tubes are planning another strike because they are planning to get rid of jobs.  I was in Charring cross tube station, and i swear this happened, i read a notice that was up about the potential strikes.  i then walked over to the information window to enquire if the planned strikes were going ahead that weekend.  The lady inside the booth didn't even raise her head to look at me and instead just barked "read the sign over there!". i lingered there for a moment in case she remembered that i was a customer and she was the employee entrusted (also paid very well...i'd put the figures up but they'll make you cry.  All i'll say is if you have kids and one of them wants to be a train driver...LET HIM!) by London transport to provide customers with said imformation.  Needles to say she sat there silent and i walked away wondering why oh why would Transport for London come to the conclusion that they didn't need all these members of staff...

A sexy new bar maid is working at the pub round the corner from work.  Her name is Summer Strallen and she's quiet a famous performer in the west end...google her!  as i'm sure you can imagine the pub has been very busy since she started. Not because of autograph hunters, but because of all the middle-age theatre technicians in the area simplly standing at the bar drooling.  I'll stick up a picture for your enjoyment...As you see, the young lady clearly needs a second job because she can afford clothes, bless.

That'll do for now.  I hope you are well and still enjoying yourself.

Take care mate

Yours

Little Dave