Episode one!

Dear George,

I hope this message finds you well. The weekend has arrived. This morning my train was 4mins late. It is 21*C outside and partly cloudy. Britain's still using sterling (£) and on average, 1kg of sugar cost 79p. The price of a first class stamp is 46p.

At long last i bring you the Podcast i have been promising you since you left all those weeks ago. It's a bit rough around the edges and you can tell we're not a 100% comfortable speaking in to the mic but i really enjoyed making it and a promise there'll be many more to follow.

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Take care buddy,
yours,
Little Dave

Russian man's Adventure

Dear George,

I hope this message finds you well.  Today is a Friday.  This morning my train was 3mins late.  It is 23*C outside and partly cloudy.  Britain's still using sterling (£) and on average, 1kg of carrots cost 71p. The price of a first class stamp is 46p.

I really enjoyed reading your last couple of posts.  Sounds amazing, I can’t think of anything that’s occurred me in the last few days that is that interesting.  I got a pod cast recorded last night and after posting this I’ll be editing it for your pleasure.

I’ve not had much chance to do my own travelling around of late.  Therefore I have no new stories or adventures to rival your travelling experiences but since you are in Russia I thought I’d tell you about my very own Russian experience I had a few years ago.

I had a Russian girlfriend for a while.  I guess I was her fling all the while she was in living in England.  I met her at the pub around the corner from work.  There was a large group of us and as the evening turned to night and night to early morning, the crowd dissolved until she and I were still chatting away alone.  She was tall with dark hair and very beautiful, she was (and most certainly still is) a theatre designer living in the UK to look for work but wasn’t having any joy.  I told her I’d be more than happy to show her around London and hang out with her since she was feeling very much on her own.

I’ll skip through the mushy part of us holding hands while on long stroll together and our first kiss in the butterfly sanctuary at London Zoo because shortly after that I came to notice she was fucking insane.  It began with constant mumblings about how “stupid” the English were for not celebrating Russian actors as much as English actors. Next she admitted to me that she wasn’t 27 years old, as she’d originally told me, she was in fact 30.  Not a problem at all, I was flattered if anything and she could certainly get away with it…however, the next day she told me she was actually 32.  Then that weekend, before we met up with some old housemate she’d lived with, she told me that if I was asked her age I was to say 33.  The weekend came and went and that Monday morning she finally confessed that in actually fact she was 35.

Now this wasn’t some great love affair we had.  She was leaving the country on new years day and I’d always known that which is why I think I just went along with the whole thing.  But a week before her flight we were talking about God knows what and the subject of evolution came up.  It turned out she didn’t believe in evolution.

“Evolution is a stupid idea. We could never have come from monkeys.  Why are monkeys still around if we came from them?  Man didn’t come from monkeys...well, maybe black people did”

I didn’t see her much after that night.

Take care buddy

yours

Little Dave

Back to basics

Dear George,

It has kindly been brought to my attention that while i strive to keep you abreast of current affairs i'm neglecting to keep you up to date with the more simpler things in life.  International news you can of course find anywhere, but are you aware that a fat squirrel has been digging up my garden and eating the seeds from my vegetable patch! As you know i do try to paint the world in bright colours but as you can clearly see small furry mammals are me causing chaos.

I'll begin with a quick editorial.  I received an email from a bloke in Ireland asking me who the bearded man was in the photo next to the panda.  The smug faced, hairy, man-boy in question is Kev.  A mate of ours and has been for...well...forever i think, and he looks like a bear.  I know you know this George but since other people are reading my intimate correspondance to you, i'll have to stick a bit more detail in when making private jokes.... this will enevitably make every joke twice as long and half as funny.

Today is Wednesday the 1st of June.  My train way late, again...(for any international readers, this is the general rule with trains in England).  It is 16*C outside and partly cloudy over here in London.  Britain's still using sterling (£) and on average, a loaf of bread cost £1.37. The current price of a first class stamp is 46p...which is un-fucking-believable! Is it any wonder we send emails???

The tubes are planning another strike because they are planning to get rid of jobs.  I was in Charring cross tube station, and i swear this happened, i read a notice that was up about the potential strikes.  i then walked over to the information window to enquire if the planned strikes were going ahead that weekend.  The lady inside the booth didn't even raise her head to look at me and instead just barked "read the sign over there!". i lingered there for a moment in case she remembered that i was a customer and she was the employee entrusted (also paid very well...i'd put the figures up but they'll make you cry.  All i'll say is if you have kids and one of them wants to be a train driver...LET HIM!) by London transport to provide customers with said imformation.  Needles to say she sat there silent and i walked away wondering why oh why would Transport for London come to the conclusion that they didn't need all these members of staff...

A sexy new bar maid is working at the pub round the corner from work.  Her name is Summer Strallen and she's quiet a famous performer in the west end...google her!  as i'm sure you can imagine the pub has been very busy since she started. Not because of autograph hunters, but because of all the middle-age theatre technicians in the area simplly standing at the bar drooling.  I'll stick up a picture for your enjoyment...As you see, the young lady clearly needs a second job because she can afford clothes, bless.

That'll do for now.  I hope you are well and still enjoying yourself.

Take care mate

Yours

Little Dave